What type of inner-coach have you chosen for yourself? Does your inner coach help you to get healthy and to achieve all of your goals or does it actually just make you feel awful about yourself most of the time?
Let’s imagine for a moment someone you love (one of your children or siblings perhaps) was an athlete or a ballerina, would you choose a coach or a dance instructor for this person that told you them how “awful” they are every time they made a little mistake, that told them “they would never amount to anything” or that “they were a rubbish athelete/dancer”. All the coach or instructor was trying to do was motivate your child/sibling to achieve but they were doing that in a “tough love” kind of way. This kind of tough love would most probably make your child/sibling feel awful about themselves, give up on themselves or stop trying so hard. Imagine instead a coach or instructor that told them “don’t worry about that little mistake, learn from it and do better next time” or “you can do it, you are great at what you do and have so much potential”. You can see how this kind of coaching is much more likely to get your loved one to try harder, do better and also to feel better about themselves.
Listen to that little voice in your head (that inner dialogue) and ask yourself what your inner coach is like? Is it kind or is it cruel? Is it forgiving or is it harsh? Having a harsh and cruel inner coach is not going to motivate you to achieve any of your goals in the long-term. Even if that negative voice did inspire you to change – that journey to change would be a horrible one, with someone evil and mean shouting in your ear the whole way.
Just like you would for a friend or your child - choose a coach that loving, compassionate, forgiving, positive and kind!